Counselling support for eating disorders and body image.
Rethink your body
To get the freedom to live the life you want
by Harriet Frew on July 11th, 2018

​It’s sunny! It’s hot! Body anxiety is riding high.

I’ve always wanted to wear denim shorts; the teeny-tiny shorts that show off long and shapely legs on other girls. They are not for me though. Mother-nature blessed me with thighs for striding up hills and jumping up walls. Not for looking sleek and gazelle-like in denim hotpants!

And after 3 kids, a bikini is off limits too. With my clothes on, you’d never know, thank goodness. But, my stomach has taken quite an elasticity battering since the offsprings’ arrival. Although I’ve never had or wanted a six-pack stomach, it is now a physical impossibility! The grief is real.

This isn’t a body bashing session. Actually, I like my body overall. There are bits that are pretty okay. My arms aren’t bad; there’s always my big, curly hair and with the right clothes, I have curves in the right places. I also hugely value my health and body strength. Long I hope, it will continue.

If you’ve having a bad body day, here are 3 tips to feel BODY BRAVE in the sun: -

1. Dress for your shape

Know what suits you and enhance your best bits. I can’t wear a bikini but I can choose a flattering swimsuit and sarong. Pencil skirts don’t enhance my shape, but A-line ones do. Don’t berate yourself with comparisons. Instead, celebrate the body you do have.

2. Wear colour

Choosing colours that suit you can take years off your face and lift your mood. Don’t get stuck with black or dark colours. Be bold, daring and experiment with different shades.

3. Make it fun!

What’s your thing? Do you wear jewellery or get your nails done? Do you celebrate your hair or wear make-up? Do you have a funky style that is unique? Find something that works for you and makes you feel good. Don’t get tied up in the size of your thighs or the things you feel you don’t have.

Be body brave! Get out there, and please do share any tips below about increasing body confidence. Thank you !

by Harriet Frew on July 10th, 2018

'Embrace the glorious mess that you are' - Elizabeth Gilbert - I love this quote.

You don't have to be perfect. I used to give myself such a hard time for the things I wasn't good at. 

I would feel hopelessly inadequate for my poor arithmetic skills or map reading ability. I would then beat myself up relentlessly for not being good enough, and compare myself to others, then feeling inferior.  What a waste of time that was! It was certainly NOT self-esteem building!

It stopped me focusing on the things I could do, like being creative, writing or being a good friend to others. It lowered my mood and always left me wanting.

Thankfully, I don't do half as much critiquing or judging myself anymore. Instead, I focus on my strengths - not in an arrogant way, but a gentle acknowledgement of things I do have to offer the world.

I am now okay with my weaknesses - other people can be good at maths (my children are already leaps and bounds ahead)!

And don't ever trust me with a map when you are navigating anywhere away from Cambridgeshire! You are guaranteed to become frustrated and very lost.

Even on a bad day, I still have big hair! It can be frizzy, but overall I feel it is very much part of me! :)

My 3 proven tips to raise self-esteem

  • That means ones with the girl at work who always looks so put together.
  • The ones of fit women on Instagram who are airbrushed within an inch of their lives.
  • The ones with your sister-in-law, who has a super-duper kitchen that she can swing a cat in (if she wanted to of course!)


You might not feel you have any, but you absolutely do.!

You just haven't taken a step back and noticed them yet.

If you struggle with this one, try jotting down things through the day as situations arise. I bet you find yourself being a good friend, a thoughtful colleague or showing kindness to the checkout man more than you ever realise.


I am sure you treat your pet, your children, your friends or partner with thoughtfulness and care. Do you do the same for yourself though? If you neglect your own needs, you will feel resentful and worthless.

You are probably super busy and fitting in self-care might feel a squeeze. Prioritise it in though. I love having a sit down with a cup of coffee; reading a favourite book or relaxing in the bath. It lifts my mood and restores my energy. And, I feel so much better in my mood and self-worth!  I am also nicer to be around.

What are your self-esteem boosting tips? Do share below.

by Harriet Frew on July 2nd, 2018

​Breakthrough day (offered face-to-face in Cambridge or London)

​Sometimes, a part of us wants to change but we don’t know how. We feel constantly frustrated that we are going around in circles on the hamster wheel; not knowing how to get off and exit.  Maybe you had some counselling before and that it hasn’t brought about the transformation you hoped for. Maybe you feel that you have a better understanding of your issues now; but you still repeat the same old patterns. You feel exasperated and you want change!

This is when a BREAKTHROUGH DAY might be exactly what you need. I will help you gain clarity of the root of the problem and then also work with you to generate active change.

The BREAKTHROUGH DAY is personalised to you, and might include: -

• Breaking the cycle of dieting and bingeing.
• Gaining freedom with food to enjoy your favourite foods without guilt or feeling out of control.
• Boosting self-esteem and confidence, enabling you to socialise and enjoy life.
• Understanding how to eat to achieve a slim but non-deprived body.
• Re-evaluating the past and processing this, allowing you to move on.
• Banishing your inner critic and developing a supportive, compassionate inner voice.

The breakthrough day is a one-to-one specialist three-hour assessment with Harriet to:

1. Help you understand your eating issues in depth, by exploring your past history; identifying trigger situations for the problem and recognising current influences that keep the problem going. Harriet will help you piece these parts together so that you have greater understanding, clarity and awareness about your eating problem.

2. Provide you with a road-map for going forward in addressing your issues. Harriet will provide you with tools, skills and strategies for doing this.

You will also receive your own personalised Rethinkyourbody resource treatment handbook to take away so you can continue with your progress.

Prior to the day, you will have a 40 minute phone call with Harriet to lay the groundwork for the breakthrough and to identify key areas to focus on.The breakthrough will be followed up with a letter from Harriet, summarising the details of the learning, with specific recommendations for treatment, support and reading.

get in touch for more information or to book your breakthrough session today.

by Harriet Frew on June 24th, 2018

I am thrilled to feature in Gemma Askham's article in Boots Health and Beauty Magazine for July/August 2018. Do pick up a copy from any Boots store to read about tips on finding a happy balance with your body image!

by Harriet Frew on June 20th, 2018


The burden of perfection is intense in society today. Social media floods us daily with filtered, airbrushed, carefully chosen pictures, of people living happy lives, looking attractive and achieving wonderful things. And it never goes away! It is present, relentless and fully accessible 24/7. 

If this alone wasn’t enough, the constant pressure to achieve is omnipresent and even encouraged. We are all supremely busy, almost wearing this as a badge of honour – achieving, climbing the career ladder, parenting and excelling in our hobbies. Understandably, we have less time for face-to-face relationships and deeper connections. Switching off from the busyness can increasingly involve time spent alone, whilst scrolling through our feeds and distorting further our perceptions and expectations of what is real. There is more opportunity than ever before to compare, compare, compare and then to feel inadequate.


Some of us will be more prone to the vulnerabilities of perfectionist striving, than others.  Early experiences from often well-intentioned demanding parents, critical teachers or other authority figures can engrain deeply the messages of self-worth being highly dependent on grades, achievement or looks. Acceptance or approval can begin to feel highly conditional on us meeting these expectations, with the strong fear that we are undeserving of love or acceptance unless we continue to strive, achieve and perfect. 

Long after the early authority figures have disappeared from our lives, or faded into the background of daily life; we enter the adult world, with the internal critique embedded firmly in our psyche. It feels normal and almost right to self-impose these often impossible standards. Thinking is also rigid being very black and white: ‘I am perfect or I’m failing’. Shades of grey feel incomprehensible or just a bit ‘meh’ - ‘Why bother if I can’t be perfect?’ It is this perspective that can often leave people feeling reluctant to change their perfectionist drive. It might not feel achievable to feel good about yourself, whilst simultaneously relinquishing perfection.

5 tips to dilute perfectionism and raise self-esteem .............................

10 lessons 10 tips 10 ways therapy can help 10 ways 12 days of christmas 20 ways to stop bingeing now 3 steps 5 things to learn 5 ways to silence inner critic 5 ways Bingeing Christma Control ELLEUK ELLE Eating Disorder Eating problem Inside Out Louise Chunn Managing emotions New Year Perfectionism Sleep Spring about counsellors action all or nothing anorexia nervosa anorexia anxiety eating anxiety assertiveness assertive beach body beautiful people behaviours being authentic being kind to self bikini body plan bikini body binge eating disorder binge eating bingeeating bite by bite body confidence body dysmorphia body image workbook body image body love body neutrality body positivity boost self-esteem breakthrough buimia bulimia nervosa bulimia cake can counselling help caring what others think cbt challenging negative thoughts change children and eating disorders children christmas clean eating cognitive behaviour therapy comfort eating comparing self to others comparing with others comparions comparisons compulsive eating compulsive exercise confidence conflict about body size connection contribution counselling criticism deception developing awareness developing healthy relationship with food dieting disordered eating does self help work dolphin early experiences eating disorder prevention eating disorders eating when hungry eatingdisorder eating elizabeth gilbert embracing change emotional eating emotions envy evening eating exhaustion expectations feelings florence and the machine florence welch food obsession food freedom with food friendship fulfilment fun geneen roth giving up dieting giving guilt habit happiness healthy eating healthy food healthy weight helpful help hope how counselling can change your life how to stop binge eating how to stop bingeing how to stop emotional eating how to stop overeating hunger identity improve body image improving body image inferior insulin iphone is your weight your worth janet treasure jealousy jellyfish joy judgement kids and eating disorders kind to body letting go lies listen to body loneliness lose control around food lose weight losing control food love body low self-esteem male body image manipulation maudsley model media meeting your needs men and eating disorders mental health mind body connection mindful eating mindfulness mirror mood mothering motivation mum ninja warrior not dieting obesity obsession with food obsession on eating orthorexia ostrich over-eating over-exercise overcoming fear overeating parenting people pleasing perfect pixar film pleasure poor body image positive preoccupation with food pressure problem psychological approach reading about eating disorders reading recovery relapse relationships resolutions restriction rest rhino role model root of problem rules about eating rules around eating sabotage saying no secret eating self awareness self conscious self esteem self help books self-acceptance self-awareness self-awarness self-care self-compassion self-confidence self-criticism self-esteem self-help book self-help self-kindness self-loathing self-love self-worth selfcare selfesteem shoulds social anxiety social eating social media and body image social media song starve stop binge eating stop bingeing stop comparisons stop dieting stopping dieting stress striving success summer support for carers support surviving Christmas susie orbach tablet television therapy things you didn't know thinking about food thinking styles thinking thinner self thin thoughts about food thoughts tips to boost self-esteem tips to love your body tips tired to my client who is struggling tv and body image ulrike schmidt undereating unkind to self validating emotions values value weighing scales weight conflict weight loss weight wellbeing what is counselling what is therapy when food is love when therapy is hard work
Counselling support for eating disorders and body image.